love

Juma: Mom, I love you. So much. I don't know why, I just do.
Sarah: Well, it is hard-wired in your DNA to love your mother. You have to.
Juma: I know, but that's not it. I really just love you.

exercise

Juma: I really would like to get in an hour of exercise per day, but I just don't have the time.

Apparently, he learned about heart disease in science class.

Juma's questions at bedtime

Why do we exist?

Why do we have to learn?

What does gravity look like? What is it? Like, is it a gas like oxygen or what?

Why do we have to learn math. What good is it outside of school?

Why do we play sports?

Jumaism, age 7

Juma: Did you know that when I jump in the air, it feels like time stands still?

juma-ism

Juma: from the couch Mom, come here.

Sarah: What's up, babe?

Juma: I'm not sure you want me to tell you this, but...

Sarah: trying to balance the role of parent with confidante What? You can tell me, it's ok.

Juma: I think...I think I'm addicted to resting. I've been resting on this couch for an hour.

breakfast

Juma must be having a growth spurt. This morning, he gobbled up four (small) pancakes, then asked for an English muffin. He ate that whole thing. Then he wandered back into the kitchen, and looked in the freezer.

"You want more?!?!" I asked, incredulous.

He looked at me and smiled.

"You ate all those pancakes?"

"Yes," he said.

"And the whole English muffin?" I continued.

"Yep."

"And you're still hungry?"

Big smile.

"Want a toaster strudel?"

Bigger smile.

I know that amount of food is normal from some boys his age, but this is Juma The Slowest Eater in the World. It's like pulling teeth to get him to finish anything.


As he was eating, I heard him call me from the other room. I turned the corner, wondering what he could possibly want now, and asked, "Yes, hon'?"

"I see that you haven't eaten any breakfast. You should get yourself an English muffin or something."

And that's when my heart melted like butter.

report card

Juma brought home his first report card of first grade, and he did awesome (of course he did!). He got perfect marks on math, and while his reading level is expected to be at a 6 right now, it's at a 14. His behavioral marks were also perfect, and we are very proud of him. Way to go Juma!

We decided this deserved a reward, so we let him watch Walking with Dinosaurs, a movie we'd been holding on to as a reward for general good behavior at home (measured by filling up his "sticker chart"). When we told him he could watch the movie, he got the biggest grin on his face and exclaimed, "Thank you! Thank you! Oh, I love you! I love you so much! I'm so excited!"

mmmhhhhffffmmm

Juma: calling out from bed Mom? Are you still down here?

Sarah: calling back from bed Mmmmm-hmmmm.

Juma: What?

Sarah: Mmmmm-hmmmm.

Juma: You are here?

Sarah: Mmmmm-hmmmm.

Juma: You're not here?

Sarah: Mmmmm-mmmmm-mmmmm.

Juma: What?

Sarah: Mmmmm-fffff-mmmmm-hhmmmm.

Juma: Mom, I can't understand you.

Sarah: Hmmmm-hmmmmm.

Juma: Do you have your teeth whitening thing in?

Sarah: Mmmm-hmmm.

Juma: You do?

Sarah: Mmmm-hmmm.

Juma: What?

Sarah: laughing Mmmmmm.

Juma: Mom, I just can't understand you.

Sarah: Mmmmm-mmmmmm.

Juma: I'm just going to go to sleep now.

Sarah: Mmmmmm-mmmmm. Mmmmmm-mmmmm!

Juma: Good night.

Sarah: M-mmmm-mmm.

packing

When we were packing to come to Utah, I told Juma he could pick a couple of toys to put in his suitcase. He rummaged around in the toy room under the stairs and came out with a Star Wars rebel blaster, three light sabers, and a talking C-3PO head.

Last he came out with an object I couldn't see and he said apologetically, "Mom. This might be a little disturbing...but I'm bringing this." He held up a dollar store recorder, the kind that makes piercing screeches when 5-year olds blow into them. Joy.

I snuck it back out of his suitcase before we left. But he hasn't noticed because the three light sabers have kept him quite busy.

mondays

Last night when I was putting Juma to bed, we had our usual discussion about whatever is on his mind.

Juma: Mom, I hate Mondays.

Sarah: Lots of people hate Mondays, honey.

Juma: But, Mom, I really hate Mondays.

Sarah: Why?

Juma: Because on Monday, that means that there's another day I have to go to school, and then another, and then another, and then ANOTHER!

Sarah: Yep, that's true. Good night, bud.

Juma: But wait, Mom.

Sarah: What?

Juma: Just kidding, I mean I love Mondays.

Sarah: How come?

Juma: Because that means I get to go learn stuff the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day so I can grow up to be a scientist!

honey nut cheerios

"I love these. It's like honey rolled up into a tiny circle."

plural: patience; singular: patient

"Moooom! I can't wait any longer! I'm losing my patience--I'm losing my last patient!"

the bounds of anything

A Sunday a few weeks ago, Juma woke up at 6:30am, far too early for us. Justin got up and told him that he, Juma, could get up, get dressed, do anything he wanted, read a book, turn on the light, whatever, just leave us alone until he sees 7:00 on the clock.

At seven, I got up and limped into Juma's room. I found him in his pajamas, listening to an audio book of Toy Story, and happily sucking away at a Tootsie Pop. When he saw me, he popped the sucker out of his mouth, and exclaimed, "Dad said I could do anything I wanted!"

"Oh?"

And with a excitement only children and my brother Rus can muster, he answered, "I'm listening to this book! Twice!"

pronunciation

"Mom," Juma said, "I want to be a Scientologist when I grow up."

I raised my eyebrows, wondering where the heck he heard about Scientology. Of all the religious traditions I've exposed him to, Scientology hasn't been one of them.

"You mean scientist?" I asked hopefully.

"No. I mean the guys who dig up dinosaur bones," he explained.

"Oh! You mean paleontologist."

"Yeah. That. I can't say that word."

the trouble with being human

Juma: Mom, I don't want to be a person. I don't like being a person.

Sarah: What? What do you mean, honey?

Juma: getting visibly upset I just don't like being a person.

Sarah: Why? What's wrong with being a person?

Juma: I don't know.

Sarah: wondering if he has started to grasp his mortality Well, what are some of the things that makes being a person bad?

Juma: almost in tears I don't know.

Sarah: What are some of the things that are good about being a person?

Juma: I don't know.

Sarah: What would you want to be instead of a person?

Juma: I don't know.

a few minutes later

Juma: I just want to be a police dog.

Sarah: A police dog? Really? How come?

Juma: I don't know.

Sarah: You know, police dogs only live to be about 15. People live to be 70, 80, 90...

Juma: Hmph. I just want to be police dog.

Sarah: confused Okay.

after a couple minutes

Juma: worried Even police can go to jail, right?

Sarah: Yes, they can. If they do something bad. Is that what you are worried about being a person? People can go to jail and animals don't?

Juma: Yes.

Sarah: Oh, honey, you don't need to worry about going to jail. First of all, they don't put kids in jail. Second, I don't think you'll even do any of the things against the law that are bad enough for you to go to jail.

Juma: Like what?

Sarah: Stealing stuff, breaking into somebody's house and taking their stuff, stealing a car, shooting someone, beating someone up really bad...Stuff like that. Doing drugs that are against the law. Do you plan on doing any of that?

Juma: feeling better No. What about crashing a car?

Sarah: No, that's not something to put you in jail.

Juma: Okay.

The conversation went on, according to his questioning, to discuss illegal drugs, including some of their names--crack, heroin, cocaine, ecstasy--and what they look like. Juma was determined to avoid crack, for example, but was worried he might accidentally buy some in the store pharmacy. I assured him that wouldn't even happen. "So, if I see it, it will just say it, right? It'll say, 'Crack' on the thing, right?" His innocence made my smile. I explained that, no, these kinds of drugs are not labeled, but that he didn't need to worry about it now. I promised that when he's older, I'd show him some pictures and explain more (information I have through school).

After that, he seemed to feel okay about being human again.

temptation

Juma: Ooo, a fruit roll-up.

Sarah: Do you want some?

Juma: seriously No, I just want to eat healthier.


(He was soon overcome by 5-year-old taste buds and finished off the second half of my fruit roll-up.)

juma funnies

Sarah: Juma, what's something fun you've done, so we can put it on the blog?

Juma: Um, had a vanilla milkshake. laughs I went to moe-mee-wyoe-wah. I want to be silly.

Sarah: Didn't you say something really cute, or something like that?

Juma. No! I don't say anything cute. I don't say anything cute, okay! And I'm not going to spend a lifetime in a shelf. "In a dime store shelf, watching every other toy be sold!" laughs That's in Toy Story 2. messes up my hair Now what do we look like. pushes hair into Sarah's face Now more hair, more hair! Even more hair! Now can you see?

Sarah: Nope. does poor Cousin It impersonation

Juma: grabs Sarah's nose Say mmm.

Sarah: Mmm

Juma: laughs Say moon.

Sarah: Moon.

Juma: Do it to me.

Sarah: grabs Juma's nose Say moon.

Juma: snorts, laughs Moon.

Sarah: I'm still typing everything, see?

Juma: I can't even see your ears.

Sarah: Oh.

Juma: Did you type that?

Sarah: What?

Juma: I can't even see your ears. Where are they? sifting through Sarah's hair Oh, there they are.

dragons

Juma: Dragons are real, you know.

Sarah: Are they? How do you know?

Juma: Because.

Sarah: I thought they were just pretend. Is there any evidence that dragons are real? Where do they live?

Juma: They live in Africa.

Sarah: Really? I've been to Africa, but I've never seen any dragons.

Juma: They're really hard to see.

Sarah: Are they invisible?

Juma: No. They just have camouflage. Really good camouflage.

Sarah: Oh! But what do they eat?

Juma: pause Elephants.

Sarah: Wow. Let's talk about that some more. What evidence so we have that they are real, and what evidence do we have that they are pretend?

Juma: They're real! Uh-huh, they are!

Sarah: Hmm. Well, I've never seen one in a science book. How come scientists haven't seen them?

Juma: Camouflage.

Sarah: But if scientists thought they were really real, I bet they'd try really hard to find one, so they could take pictures and study them.

Juma: They live far, far away in Africa.

Sarah: So do giraffes and lions and hippos, but we've seen all those.

Juma: They hide real good. In the grass. They have lots of little green spikes that come out all over, looks like grass.

Sarah: Then how come we haven't seen any dragon bones, like we do for dinosaurs, mammoths, horses?

Juma: They sink way down, down, down into the ground.

Sarah: Oh? How come the dinosaur fossils didn't sink way down?

Juma: The dragon bones are really, really heavy.

Sarah: If the bones are so heavy, how do they fly and walk?

Juma: Well, they're kind of heavy, and kind of light.

Sarah: I see. You know where I've seen dragons? In books of pretend stories.

Juma: trying to please me They're just pretend.

Sarah: People talk about them in make-believe, and that's okay! It's really fun to believe in make-belief stuff, and tell stories about them. Dragons are cool in stories!

Juma: They're real.

Sarah: Well, we don't have evidence that they are. And we do have evidence that they aren't. Do you know what evidence we have that they aren't?

Juma: shakes head

Sarah: Well, lots of people all over the world have stories about dragons. But in those stories, the dragons are always different. In China, in Africa, in Europe, always different. Even the dragon you told me about, it's different. That tells me the dragons are in people's imaginations. 'Cause horses? In all the stories that have horses, they're always the same. They look like the horses we know about in real life.

Juma: slight dismayed But they're real.

Sarah: It's okay to think about dragons, honey. They're fun, aren't they?

The next day, Juma was having a conversation about dinosaurs with his cousins. He turned to me.

Juma: to Sarah, earnestly Wait, how do we know dinosaurs are real?

Sarah: Because we can see their bones.

Juma: satisfied Oh, right. Right. Dinosaurs are real.

sneaking

Juma: Mom, I'm good at sneaking candy.

Sarah: You were sneaking candy behind my back?

Juma: Not your back! I was sneaking it behind my back.

the amazing new super hero

Sarah: Juma, finish up your lunch.

Juma: No!

Sarah: Are you hungry?

Juma: No!

Sarah: Please finish. Then we can go play with your cousins at Grandma's house.

Juma: I don't want to!

Sarah: I think you're tired.

Juma: No, I'm not!

Sarah: I think you should be a superhero: Contrary Man. Yep, that's your super power, to be contrary.

Juma: I am not!